Almost There!

We are almost to King's Landing. It is a breath away. I am already home sick. I have decided to draw myself back home. perhaps if this sketch is enough I will paint it. One cannot paint whilst in travel but I have brought my easel and paints. A part of me fears my future husband will forbid my art. Paint has quite the strong scent and it does demand a well lighted space. After the war I am no longer certain about having a kind husband. I have no expectation of love. I find such notions are disingenuous to our reality. Love is for the smallfolk and those who can afford to throw peace away. I do not believe anyone truly can afford this. Yet many do not think of their position this way. I certainly did not before the war. Marrying for Love and becoming a Septa is a waste. It is just the same as sending men to the wall without cause. While the position is vital and gives purpose to bastards and a second chance to smallfolk, at times wastrel Lords are sent away. I am grateful to be a woman or being the youngest likely I would be sent to the wall for Familial Honor. I know such honor is important but, the loss of my brothers gave me a new insight to the youngest brothers... they are not just a cushion against a lost future of course but such a vow cannot be withdrawn. What comes after every heir is lost? A part of me wishes to see with the Stark lineage. My inner vengeance. I dream of seeing Yoren die, head rolling to my feet. His father's tears would be genuine then.

Still, at least I can draw myself home, away from such concerns. Was there ever a time when those concerns were beyond me or was that merely the dream of a child?